Review~ Needless, Pointless & Insulting, Goobers Andrew Garfield & Emma Stone; The Amazing Spiderman

The Amazing Spiderman, with Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Denis Leary, Martin Sheen, Sally Field.  Mark Webb, director.  I don’t know for sure, but someone should have warned me about this film.  Where are the people that are supposed to do that for me?  I didn’t know if I wanted to see it in the first place, because I couldn’t imagine a reason to do a reboot of the Spiderman license.  Then it turns out to be worse than I thought!  With a couple of teenagers saving the day, wallowing in puppy love.

Neither Garfield (Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus) or Stone are teenagers & failed to convince me that they were as they swaggered through the halls of a high school.  Disappointing, to say the least, since the story is about youth saving the world from disaster.  If the story would have distracted me enough to believe that, I would be more forgiving.  It wasn’t, so I’m not.

I’ll take a pass on Garfield this time around, he’s too awful for my comments.  However; Stone should have known better than to take up this nonsense.  Her previous role in The Help was wonderful, so this is definitely a step down & a mistake.  Whether it’s bad advice or greed, playing a child in bobby socks was an obscene & rude gesture.  Awful!  She wasn’t able to overcome lame lines, in a bad script, full of endless cliche’.  Terrible.

It was a nice update to the tired, old Spiderman nuance of dissatisfaction on top of one brutalization after another.  The physical visuals of the superhero’s acrobatics seem to follow the art of the original comic books.  The poise & athletic swinging were admirable & it was actually impressive to see a little commonsense physics in action.  No magical & unexplained shocks.  Other than the genetic-experiment spider that bites the “boy” in the beginning, which is a given & must just be believed in order to like the story in the first place.

When they said this was a reboot, they meant it.  Not merely a title role, actor replacement.  They started anew with the story, with a focus on youth, instead of action & thrill.  Cheap shots all the way through.

I don’t recommend this for viewing, obviously.  A sequel would be a no go.

Find something else to see!  I’m one of the people who are tasked with warning you away from disaster.  Trust me.

I would have said something about Sheen & Field, but I have too much respect for their past accomplishments.  Sheesh!

One response

  1. What a disappointment!! Oh well, I’ll give it a miss then. In Afrikaans, there’s an idiom “goedkoop koop is duur koop” which means, in short, that a cheap option is always an expensive option. Clearly this one cost the film makers ….. such a pity.