Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, with Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen & Pihla Viitala. Director, Tommy Wirkola. It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of Renner’s & this juvenile attempt at coddling twenty something’s with a refurbished folk tale seems to cement the feeling that, every film Renner’s in is either inherently ridiculous or ruined by his presence. I’m all for bringing old stories to life, within reason. Why they had to bring this particular one to the screen & then decorate it with 1980’s-style trivia, is beyond my understanding.
I had noticed that one of the production companies is an affiliate to MTV, which accounts for some of the focused drivel. But, really. Witches on brooms? Other, similar concepts, of bringing old European fairy tales to the silver screen, at least update the detail to modern fantasy.
Yes, Renner is still a fraud. Rock Hudson was able to be convincing during romantic screen moments, perhaps Renner could take from his example. Though Hudson was handsome & Renner is something akin to road kill. What’s left for Renner to do, since he can’t act, except jerk out his version of a tough guy, action hero. It wasn’t even funny, this time. Just pathetic like a metal plate that’s dropped flat on the ground. With no further drama, nothing beyond an shocking & irritating bang. His weak-chinned, plain-of-face physical appearance combined with an faux-coy, deadpan emoting style are not entertaining, to say the least. Don’t get me started.
If there’s someone that I detest, within a film, it’s incumbent on me to not let the non-talent soil my views of the other actors. This was difficult, as Renner’s co-star (yes, he was the little star in this little film), Arterton was little better than Renner himself! When she speaks & pouts, she comes off as a fourth rate Liv Tyler, with a modicum of ability. Such a lovely couple of co-stars. Not.
The only standout, was Viitala. However; she seemed more porn star than film actress. I don’t know too much about her, but whatever she’s about, it’s all about slightly cheap with a hand out for a big tip.
I say, avoid this motion picture. It’s aimed at children who want to hear a spattering of curse words, for the tittering fun of it. It’s a mistake.
Shame on Famke Janssen (a real star) for having anything to do with this!
Sorry to disappoint!